What you can do to help

Of course you don’t need to do anything at all to help me. But as this is the most frequently asked question, and I am now about to begin treatment, here are some suggestions. Many thanks to those who have already helped during my “mentally impaired” part of this disease!

The two biggest categories that people can help with are food and kids.

“Food” primarily means providing dinner for my family so I don’t have to worry about that. My family includes 3 adults and 3 kids: Ethan, age 5.5; Martha, 3, and Sarah, 1.5. We have no allergies and like just about anything; “kid food” is not specifically required. You can cook for us if you’re local, or order take-out or arrange for pre-made meals that I just have to pop in the oven from the freezer. I’ll post a few nearby take-out options on the links section shortly.

We live near Newton Centre, MA. Email chayward@gmail.com for our address.

“Kids” primarily means babysitting or playdates for Ethan and/or Martha. My kids are all in full time daycare and after-school care during the week, so the need to entertain them and let Colin and I rest is greatest on the weekend.

I will also appreciate company to act as amateur nurses when I’m expected to feel sick. Many relatives and friends have already volunteered to visit and I’m working on coordinating those.

As this whole treatment is a marathon, not a sprint (i.e., it takes a long time, and as it goes on you only feel worse), I ask that you consider spacing out your help over time. If 10 people decide to surprise me with a hot dinner at my door on the night of the first chemo or surgery, while that is very kind it’s also not the most helpful!

To help coordinate the helpers, I’ve set up a Google Calendar on which you can view what kind of help is already planned. We’ll update it with meals offered, playdates, visits, etc. To access the calendar, go to the bottom of the right hand column of this blog. Click on the “Google Calendar” plus sign on the bottom right corner of that box to be taken to a separate Google page with the calendar. Then email me (mhayward@rcn.com) or Colin (chayward@gmail.com) with what you’d like to help with and when, and we can answer any questions. If the calendar isn't working for you, feel free to just email or talk to us directly as well.

Other ideas are good luck / encouraging cards, emails, rides to treatments, fun head coverings, trashy celebrity magazines, iTunes gift cards (to buy The Office as my colleagues got me a video iPod for treatments), or any other kind gesture… and don’t forget to pray for me, cross your fingers, not step on the cracks on the sidewalk, send warm fuzzy vibes, or whatever else you believe will make Chucky go away! Also keep in mind that this is a very difficult time for the rest of the family as well; they will appreciate any extra TLC too.

p.s. If you haven't yet, post on my “Neflix Queue” comments section from February!