The Bionic Woman

Port is successfully implanted in my chest, hooray! Now I feel like the bionic woman. Perhaps I should get a few more wigs and start fighting crime in superhero disguises with my new powers. Or maybe I’d make a better arch-villianess, Chemo Woman, with toxic chemicals running through my veins and breasts that can kill! (At least one, anyway.) DC Comics, if you’re out there, my ideas are available for sale…

Naturally the port procedure was accompanied by some amount of drama. The night before I started getting a stomach ache about 9 p.m. It got progressively worse and didn’t seem to be fixed by eating, Pepto-Bismol, Tylenol, or my anti-anxiety sleepy drug. So after being woken several times by my stomach during the night, I called my doctor at 3 a.m. to see if she had any suggestions or if it was chemo-related. She didn’t think so as I was 10 days after chemo by this point, and told me if it kept hurting I should go to the ER. One of the things that really worried me was that it would be some kind of problem that would prevent me from having the port put in. When I woke up again at 6 a.m. and it still hurt, 9 hours straight, I decided it was time for the ER. Colin took me to Newton-Wellesley hospital where they poked me and asked me if it hurt, took some blood, did an ultrasound, and ultimately diagnosed me with… a stomach ache. I suspect it was caused by stress. Meanwhile it went away while I was there so I felt pretty stupid. But I was glad to have a clean bill of health from them to get my port, so it was back home for a quick shower then straight to MGH. Can’t get enough of those hospitals!

One of my big worries was that in order to get the port, I had to have another IV placed first. Since I’m now gun shy about IVs, I warned the nurse that I had a bad experience last time. “No problem,” she says breezily, clearly assuming that all other nurses are incompetent morons and she alone is able to place an IV effortlessly. She jabs my hand even though I’d showed her my one good vein in my arm. And she nicked the vein so had to take the IV out again. WTF! Then she says “I guess I should have listened to you about the good vein.” Well duh! 2nd time was successful and they immediately gave me painkillers and sedatives so I have little to report after that. I went home and slept straight from 5:30 p.m. - 4:30 a.m. I now have some big bandages on my chest and somewhat limited range of motion in my neck and right arm. Should be good within a few days.

Other goings on…
I am starting to shop around for breast cancer support groups and a good, gentle yoga class. I’ve been amazed at the resources available at Mass General. They’ve got a sizable cancer resource center that runs all kinds of educational, support, and exercise programs – yoga and qigong – all free. I’ve taken a class on managing stress and another on understanding blood counts, and a class sponsored by the American Cancer Society called Look Good, Feel Better which basically taught us how to wear head wraps and put on make up and sent me home with a goodie bag full of free makeup. During my treatment I can get free chair massages (yes please) and acupuncture (no thanks). In the infusion center, there are TVs and DVD players at each chair with a library of DVDs to choose from. There’s also a beautiful healing garden with great views of the city. It’s a very nice place to be, given the situation. But I also don’t want to spend my whole life down there so am looking into Newton-based support groups and some of the local yoga parlors. I want to find a support group of people just like me – optimistic young moms who aren’t going to let this diagnosis get them down – and have been told to keep looking around until I find one that I like.